When I moved here three years or so ago with Peter, I met Karl. He was this, fun-loving guy with a bar and horses and a smile that made my knees weak.
But I was married. Happily at first, then .. not so happily. But I was married.
I loved Peter. I really did. And I know Karl and Marton and Dave all hate his guts. Think he's a real lowlife, and in ways he is. But things are never that easy. When we first met, he was caring and sweet and everything a girl could dream of. This girl anyway. I think it was because he was happy, he felt he could live the way he wanted to. In a big city, with his wife. And there I never saw how all the choices I made were really his. How he controlled my life. I thought I did things because I wanted to. I'm not sure anymore.
When we came to Lauderville, it was never to stay. It was to help his mother and we had every intention of leaving as soon as we could. But things change. I loved it here. I don't know what it was. The air? The water? The smell? But I did.
And then I wouldn't cooperate anymore. Maybe I was tired of moving. Maybe I was tired of doing what he wanted. Maybe I finally saw how he manipulated me, made me do what he wanted to. I don't know what made me see it. But the more time he spent in Portland, the more time I spent with Karl. It was never more than friendship for me. I had suspicions that Karl wouldn't have minded if it was more, but like I said, I was married. For better or for worse, I wanted very much to make it work.
Then one night things all came to a peak. Peter had been gone for over a week, no word, nothing. I had stayed at home every night waiting for him. Then one Thursday, Karl came by and convinced me to come to the bar. I had a good time. I had a beer and a few laughs and after he closed, we went for a walk. We really talked that night. For the first time, I think I really opened up to him, and he made me see that Peter and I most likely didn't have a future. I think I cried when we came to the store, cause Karl hugged me, and we stood there when Peter came home.
He didn't say anything, I said goodnight to Karl, and went inside, and there Peter went crazy. Accused me of being unfaithful to him, and when I wouldn't give in he took the easy way out. He hit me when he couldn't back up his thoughts and suspisions with words. Over and over. It felt like hours, but I've heard it was only like 10 minutes, because Karl came back and knocked Peter on his ass. I got a black eye and a broken rib, but I was finally resolved to divorce him.
I threw him out. I threw Karl out. I couldn't listen to their bickering. They had a rowl in the yard, then Peter sped off in his Jeep and Karl went home. He knocked on the door, but I wouldn't let him in. It took a month to settle everything, and then Peter left.
That was 10 months ago.
5 months ago I realised I had feelings for Karl. I loved spending time with him. He made me laugh. He turned me on. I don't why I never told him. I flirted with him as usual, we had dinner at each other's place, shared the occasional kiss and hug. But I never let it go further.
1 month ago Karl left to go back to Zid, to visit his folks. The first day he was gone I knew I loved him. I missed him like crazy the first week. And I thought about calling him and telling him, but for some strange reason I didn't. I guess I wanted to hear it from him first.
Then Wednesday he came home. A month early. Said he had heard of the robbery on the news, and came straight home. Because he wanted to be with me. Because he loved me.