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Miranda Otto

[ website | My Hometown ]
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Private entry [14 Dec 2003|02:41pm]
[ mood | content ]

I've said it before, I'll say it again. Never ever attempt to redecorate an enitre flat yourself in one go ... I should have started smaller not in every room at once.

But I am finished. I have painted all the rooms and the kitchen is done with Karl's welcome help. Although I do believe it would have been quicker had I asked Sean .. he wouldn't have been interrupted quite as often ... let's just say making love on a half finished sanded wood floor gives you splinters in your bum.

Had a letter from the DA yesterday. Earl's trial's coming up after the holidays .. well A Merry Christmas to you too!

I gotta talk to Sheriff Dave about this .. and Marton.

In other news, business is booming, starting the cafe was brilliant. If it keeps up like this the investment will have paid itself off in March.

Hungry? | Disclaimer

[09 Sep 2003|11:52am]
[ mood | calm ]

Ok. So tearing down the wallpaper in the bedroom, kitchen AND livingroom at once might not have been such a great idea. But atleast I've started.

The customers keep coming to the café. I'm beginning to think it was a great idea. I can already tell I'm making more money than I thought I would on this.

Viggo called and said it'd be a few days before he could start the mural. I told him that was just fine. It's kind of nice to come down from the disaster area that is my apartment to a fresh and orderly store.

I'm hoping Karl can come over tonight .. I miss the guy. Badly.

Sesi ran over to the store the other day, I think Sean brought him in to the office and somehow he managed to sneak out. He had a run-in with Garfie. It was quite amusing to watch. It still makes me giggle whenever I think about it.

Hungry? | Disclaimer

[02 Sep 2003|11:55am]
[ mood | happy ]

I wake up early, nuzzling close to Karl for a minute before I wrench myself from the bed to take a shower and make me some breakfast, before heading down to the store to fire up the coffeemachine and the burners. My first customer usually show up just before 7 am, and Viggo said he'd be here at the break of dawn.

I get dressed in my jeans and a shirt, lying down to cuddle Karl a minute more before I have to get downstairs. Telling him to stay in bed as long as he feels like it, and come down for brekkie whenever he's ready. He doesn't usually stay the night, so I enjoy it thoroughly when he does.

As I skip down the stairs I think to myself that I haven't felt this happy in years. The smell of the kitchen puts a smile on my face and I pick out the baking trays with buns I left to slow rise over night in the fridge and make them ready for the oven.

After getting the kitchen ready for the brekkie invasion I go to the door, unlock it and put out my Open sign. I stand a minute or two on the steps, just breathing in the fresh air, smiling as Garfie shoots by, eager to be out and about again. I leave the door open and go inside to put on a pot of coffee, expecting both Mr Tucker and Viggo any minute now.

In short .. life - is good.

Hungry? | Disclaimer

[29 Aug 2003|09:42pm]
[ mood | loved ]

When I moved here three years or so ago with Peter, I met Karl. He was this, fun-loving guy with a bar and horses and a smile that made my knees weak.
But I was married. Happily at first, then .. not so happily. But I was married.

I loved Peter. I really did. And I know Karl and Marton and Dave all hate his guts. Think he's a real lowlife, and in ways he is. But things are never that easy. When we first met, he was caring and sweet and everything a girl could dream of. This girl anyway. I think it was because he was happy, he felt he could live the way he wanted to. In a big city, with his wife. And there I never saw how all the choices I made were really his. How he controlled my life. I thought I did things because I wanted to. I'm not sure anymore.

When we came to Lauderville, it was never to stay. It was to help his mother and we had every intention of leaving as soon as we could. But things change. I loved it here. I don't know what it was. The air? The water? The smell? But I did.

And then I wouldn't cooperate anymore. Maybe I was tired of moving. Maybe I was tired of doing what he wanted. Maybe I finally saw how he manipulated me, made me do what he wanted to. I don't know what made me see it. But the more time he spent in Portland, the more time I spent with Karl. It was never more than friendship for me. I had suspicions that Karl wouldn't have minded if it was more, but like I said, I was married. For better or for worse, I wanted very much to make it work.

Then one night things all came to a peak. Peter had been gone for over a week, no word, nothing. I had stayed at home every night waiting for him. Then one Thursday, Karl came by and convinced me to come to the bar. I had a good time. I had a beer and a few laughs and after he closed, we went for a walk. We really talked that night. For the first time, I think I really opened up to him, and he made me see that Peter and I most likely didn't have a future. I think I cried when we came to the store, cause Karl hugged me, and we stood there when Peter came home.

He didn't say anything, I said goodnight to Karl, and went inside, and there Peter went crazy. Accused me of being unfaithful to him, and when I wouldn't give in he took the easy way out. He hit me when he couldn't back up his thoughts and suspisions with words. Over and over. It felt like hours, but I've heard it was only like 10 minutes, because Karl came back and knocked Peter on his ass. I got a black eye and a broken rib, but I was finally resolved to divorce him.

I threw him out. I threw Karl out. I couldn't listen to their bickering. They had a rowl in the yard, then Peter sped off in his Jeep and Karl went home. He knocked on the door, but I wouldn't let him in. It took a month to settle everything, and then Peter left.

That was 10 months ago.

5 months ago I realised I had feelings for Karl. I loved spending time with him. He made me laugh. He turned me on. I don't why I never told him. I flirted with him as usual, we had dinner at each other's place, shared the occasional kiss and hug. But I never let it go further.

1 month ago Karl left to go back to Zid, to visit his folks. The first day he was gone I knew I loved him. I missed him like crazy the first week. And I thought about calling him and telling him, but for some strange reason I didn't. I guess I wanted to hear it from him first.

Then Wednesday he came home. A month early. Said he had heard of the robbery on the news, and came straight home. Because he wanted to be with me. Because he loved me.

My Karl.

Hungry? | Disclaimer

Private entry [26 Aug 2003|01:43pm]
[ mood | pensive ]

Well, it's gonna take time. I jumped a few times yesterday when the door opened, mostly when I was in the back and couldn't see who was coming. It was the same feeling I had just before Peter left town. That feeling that I'm not completely safe. I'm trying to apply the same techniques I did then. Calm down and tell myself I'm alright. Go outside and take deep breaths. During the days it works just fine. Just knowing I can close the store and go to see Mark helps a lot. So far I haven't had to, but just knowing I can is a great comfort.

It's at night it gets worse. I still have a few sleeping pills on that prescription, but I don't want to use them unless I have no other option. They make me feel .. fuzzy. I sit in the kitchen instead, cuddling Garfie, occupying my mind with plans on how to fix the flat. I have a few ideas by now. It's also at night I miss Karl the most. Never thought I would miss him this much, it feels like he's been gone forever. I miss being able to call him at all hours, just lying in bed chatting with him. Taking a quick ride together after I close the store and before he opens the bar. The first time he let me ride his Appaloosas, I felt so honoured. Those two are like kids to him.

I walked by his house this weekend when I went to see Sean. But it was still closed down. I wish he'd come back soon. Part of me is really mad at him for not being here when I needed him. Then I realise he's probably not heard about these events, and I chastise myself for being so .. clingy.

I had a good time with Sean Sunday. Garfie jumped into my arms when I came to the door, and Sesi tried to lick my feet, shins, ankles all at once. That dog is just too cute. Sean is so great too. Great cook, lunch was lovely again, and Garfie looked so fat, Sean must have spoilt him rotten. I got the feeling he wanted to kiss me again, but I don't know. This whole affair with the robbery, and realising I miss Karl so very, very much, I didn't feel right about stringing Sean along like that. I hope we can be friends, I really do.

Last night I dreamed Karl walked into the store, looking great as usual, that grin on his lips, sweeping me off my feet. *sigh* That was a nice dream. Until he changed into Earl and kil.... Yes. I have lots of ideas for the flat.

Hungry? | Disclaimer

Personal entry [21 Aug 2003|02:24pm]
[ mood | exhausted ]

I have the best friends in the world. And if I ever doubted that I could count on them to stand by me I don't anymore.

The robbery Tuesday pretty much overshadows the events from the weekend. Nice as they were. This Earl-guy really freaked me out. Never in all my life have I been scared that I might die, but I was Tuesday. When he shot out the windows, I felt this chill down my spine that a bullet would pierce through the counter and hit me.

Everything after that I remember as through a haze. Mark showing up, helping me, comforting me. The fear I felt when he was gonna leave me. Jill arriving, helping me to the car and bringing me to her home, pampering me. I don't think I spoke that much. She drew me a bath, and I lay in it for what felt like hours. Then Mark came back with some pills he got prescribed for me. Goodness only knows how. And Jill and Mark tucked me in with sleeping pills and hot milk in their guest bedroom, and I think I slept for a whole day. Jill smiled and said it was Thursday when I woke up this morning. Theo and Steph were both all over me, hugging and kissing me, bringing me coffee, toast, cake, a drawing Steph made, pillows, stuffed animals were offered too. Those two are just adorable.

I'm feeling better. The bruise on my hip has changed from red to a dark blue and it's green on the edges. It'll fade soon enough. My back hurts a little and I got a bump on the head. My arm is still red from his fingers. Jill said they caught him and his buddy, said something about someone gotten killed and Dave breaking a leg. I'll have to ask her again. My head still feels like it's filled with cotton. I feel like I did after Peter knocked me aro.... yes. *don't go there*

I'm grateful to Mark and Jill for letting me stay. I said something about going home, but they insisted I stay another night, at least. Mark mentioned a barbeque. Someone told me Garfie had run all the way to Sean's in all the commotion. Silly, unreliable creature *smiles* alway knows how to save his own skin. But then cats aren't known for defending their owners. If owner is the correct term where cats are concerned.

I've noticed a tendency to lose my concentration easily, maybe it's the drugs. I'm glad Mark is taking care of all this for me. I would miss half of it if I had to do it myself. Insurance, police, new glass, inventory, cleaning. I do hope I'll not be afraid to go back. I suppose I'll have to take it one day at a time.

And right now I think I'm gonna go back to bed.

Hungry? | Disclaimer

[16 Aug 2003|03:00am]
[ mood | cheerful ]

I have had one busy morning.

Marton's clients arrived en masse at 8 am sharp. And naturally they had all forgotten the essentials. Matches, instant coffee, toilet paper. Someone actually asked if I had sleeping bags in the back. But it turned out his pal had just stuffed it in a different compartment.

I made a fresh batch of sticky cinnamon buns last night and I had to hurriedly make a new one just after they left, because they had two each before Marton arrived, and bought the rest to bring with them.
Marton showed up in full get-up, hat, bowie knife, the works. And even though I have seen him in it so many times, it still makes me giggle how he puts on such a show for his clients. I can see why he makes a good living from it.

The same client asking for sleeping bags looked like he wouldn't know the right way to shot a rifle. I hope he doesn't mess it up for the rest of the group. I really wish I could go with them just to see what's gonna happen.

I had dinner with Marton Tuesday evening. He is a true gem. He is definitely one of my best friends. The way he stood by me during that whole Peter thing .. I'll love him for that always. I used him to test my new cheesecake recipe, and it went down nicely. I packed a box of it for him to bring along on the trip. Orgasms are hard to come by in such company. I thought he should have the next best thing. Or third best thing ...
I hope to see him for dinner again soon. Maybe I should invite Dave too ... That could prove to be a fun evening.

Speaking of Sheriff Dave and cops and stuff. That killer in the news sounded really creepy. I hope he's not headed this way. But seeing as he's still in the midwest I don't think I need to bother. I just hope he's stopped soon.

The cafe has been filled all week. I won't put my hopes up too much, I'll give it a month before I say it's going well, this week I think it's the novelty of it. However. I have been getting some regulars. One guy from somewhere up the river has come in every morning for breakfast. He was almost teary eyed this morning when he thanked me before he left. He looked a little ragged, maybe I should consider opening up a laundromat here too. *laughs* And an Internet cafe ... *giggles* Don't get carried away there Mirry.

Hungry? | Disclaimer

[09 Aug 2003|08:51am]
[ mood | nervous ]

Wow, I have finally finished the renovation. The entire interior was gutted and I remodelled it all myself. Well, with a little help.

The cafe area is perfect. Inviting and cozy, yet still classy. And I've stocked up on recepies to last the year at least.

And damn me if the groceries shouldn't sell better now after all this. the last owner was a bit of a stiff if you ask me, never really knew how to present his stuff. This place was in shambles when I bought it. Hell, the freezer hadn't been cleaned for years. It literally made me shudder.

To think it's been three years since I moved here. It felt really weird at first, being cooped up in this small town after having lived in a metropolis like Sydney all my life. The pace here is remarkably slow, and it frustrated me to begin with, but now I feel I wouldn't have it any other way. I'm quite content living above my store with Garfie as my sole companion.

Next project would be to redecorate the flat. I'll see if I can find some help for that too. Maybe Sean is available ...

I think I should also look for someone to help me with the store. Well .. maybe after I see if it's a success or not. I fear mostly that everyone will rather cook at home. Well .. if they do, they will still need the groceries. It should be a win-win situation. But I'm still nervous.

*wanders off to paint her sign to be hung out the next morning*

Hungry? | Disclaimer

[08 Aug 2003|10:17pm]
[ mood | calm ]

My three year anniversary is coming up in a month. I can't believe it's been this long.

When I met Peter five years ago in Sydney I could never imagine I'd be living in his old home town running his parents' old grocery store, living in his old room where he grew up. It's really strange how things work out.

Having been a big city girl all my life, it was quite a change meeting Peter, who came from a small town where everyone knew everyone. Lauderville, he said, is the kind of place where it says "Welcome to Lauderville" on both sides of the sign. That is how small it is. When you arrive you have already left. It felt wonderful to be with him, he was so loving and caring. When he asked me to marry him on our one-year anniversary I felt complete and safe and I said yes immediately. We married three months later.

At first we lived in my little flat in the middle of Sydney. But after a while I could see he was restless, and when he asked if we couldn't buy a house I thought it was a good idea. We found a small house not too far out of the city, but far enough to make him feel comfortable. It was still fairly close to my job and I loved it.

Then his father passed away suddenly, and it took only a minute for me to agree to go home with him to Lauderville. He had to come help his mother with the store. So I quit my job, and we sold the house and moved to Lauderville, Oregon. It was quite a change I'll tell you. A small town with only 400 something inhabitants where every move you make is noticed and discussed over and over. It's not an easy change. But I found I slowly learned to love it. It was like coming home to something I never even knew I had been missing.

After just a few months Peter's mother also passed away and we were left on our own with the store. That's really when the problems started. I slowly realised Peter hated this life. He hated that I loved it. He started to leave me on my own with the store more and more, going on long trips to Portland and even Seatlle. And when he was home, he was grumpy and irritable. he hated that I made friends with his old school friend Dave who was now the town's sheriff. He was suspisious of me being on friendly terms with Marton Csokas .. every little thing I did that ascerted my connections with Lauderville irritated him. And one night when I came home after having been out on a long walk he accused me of being unfaithful and that was the first time he hit me. It also turned out to be the last. I kicked him out and didn't really care where he spent the night.

I contacted an attorney and got a divorce and I bought the store from Peter, all in under a month's time. He was out of the town the same day we signed the last papers. I hear he's living in Portland now with his girlfriend and her two kids. I hope he's happy, because I am.

I wasn't sure in what end to start with the store so I left it the way it was the first year and a half, but then I realised if I wanted sales to pick up I would have to do something. So I decided to leave the flat as it was, even if it reminded me of Peter in too many ways. I thought it would be wiser to remodel the store first. No use spending money on something that isn't generating money. So I closed the store for a month just after the trout festival, gutted the interior, and rebuilt it. Made it more inviting, and redistributed the racks and shelves to make room for a coffee shop. That has been the talk of the town I have no doubt. It even reached Peter's ears. He called and asked if it was true. I told him it was. He hung up.

So now after months of building and painting it's finally finished and I open on Sunday. Just in time for hunting season. The next project would be to paint the flat, but I'll wait until I see the sales figures for September.

I'm content for now. Garfie makes for a good flat mate. He makes no noise, he lets me cuddle him at night, he isn't a picky eater and he doesn't leave the seat up. It's just in the conversation department he is somewhat lacking.

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